If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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