I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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