So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
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Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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