My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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