you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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