Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
