11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
