I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
