We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
