I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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