I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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