i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
