hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
