the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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