Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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