frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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