Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
