Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
