Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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