Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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