I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
