im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm always down for nudity.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize