Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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