Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
