I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
