Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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