yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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