she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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