my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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