Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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