She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
