he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
