I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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