dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
