yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
