so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize