i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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