This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
