You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
