I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
