i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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