I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize