Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
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Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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