I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
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I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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