Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize