Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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