So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
