you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize