wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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