Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
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im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
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It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Im part way to drunk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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