Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
