I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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