white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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