I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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