therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
