I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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