to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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