The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
