O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
