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I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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