i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
