There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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